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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Locke Cole's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, May 9th, 2011
    5:28 pm
    Off to CA!
     ZAM is sending me to San Fran this week - so excited! A break from UF is almost as appreciated as spending a few days in the state of my dreams! Don't have any particular plans after Tuesday when I have the conference - going to wander the city I think, and stay the nights with my cousin Karen. Details after... hoping to get some stories out of this weekend :-)

    ~Paul

    Also, love this video



    Current Mood: excited
    Monday, January 31st, 2011
    7:02 am
    Weekend over, long week ahead for ZAM!
     This next week is going to busy... outside of my normal job! My editor wants three articles from me - a zone review for WoW (thinking Silverpine, but I might just review Tirisfal, as I've done most of it already... but there's less to talk about); a lore piece on Rift (tough to do since I can't exactly log into the game and look... might take most of the info from Telarapedia); and most important, a piece on Champions Online going F2P. Champions will be interesting. After trying to download and log into the game all weekend, I finally managed it last night. Played around for a bit and realized I had read a hilarious Let's Play series on it a long time ago. So what I'm thinking is I'll do some research on the differences between paying and F2P, look at some reactions on their forums, and base my review off that. I've already seen a lot of zones and game info from it, so that should be fine. 

    The weekend was a fun time! Went back to the Medieval Faire with Austin, Matt, Eva, and Sara on Sunday. Didn't do quite as much as last year - watching a juggling show, threw some axes, saw the jousting and bird shows, bought some annoying bird whistles and drank a lot of soda. It was fun, but almost identical to last year. Oh well!

    Did I mention in my last post that I sold my car? I miss my Hyundai, but now my Kia is street-legal and good to go! I do need to get it looked at; looking forward to my awesome trip this summer. I need to request the time off soon though. It's nice to have a full bank account again! 

    I also never gave into the urge to drink, which was pretty much absent this weekend :-) Proud of myself! Ciao!

    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Friday, January 28th, 2011
    5:39 pm
    ARGH!
     So it's the last weekend of January, and my car has been sold (YES!!!). I haven't had a drop of alcohol since New Years' Eve.

    AND I WANT A DRINK SO FRIGGIN' BAD.

    For the last few days it's been terrible. I had a fight with Eva over my plans to drive up the coast this summer... namely that I want to do it solo, and she doesn't want to be away from me for 2 weeks. We got over that. On Thursday my boss was just being a complete jerk (par for the course), so again I wanted to get home and get trashed. Today there's just no reason besides wanting to relax. 

    And all of that is even more of a sign of why I CAN'T drink. Stress shouldn't trigger that reaction in me - it's unhealthy! And goodness knows the last month has been great for my health! I'm watching my calories and probably lost about 3-5 lbs since December. I don't feel disappointed in myself for drinking. I don't make excuses to not play frisbee with the guys. Not drinking is wonderful, except for the fact that I can't shake the desire to do it. Addictionnnnnnn! 

    Sigh. Not sure what to do to pass the time instead. I suppose I could be productive right now and go deposit all the cash I earned from the car sale. Or look up vapes as an alternative to booze. Ah well. Most likely I'll just play some more games, haha. Ciao!

    ~Paul

    Current Mood: Addicted
    Monday, January 10th, 2011
    10:11 pm
    New Year!
     Happy 2011! We're already 1/3 through January (HOLY SHIT!). I've been sober every day since New Years Eve, haven't had a drop of alcohol. I've also been watching what I eat, counting my calories, and walking during lunch; I'm hoping to see the results soon! Work has been fine, and ZAM is going well; had a few articles posted recently. I have another one coming out on Wednesday about Rift, a new MMO to be released in March that I'm really excited about. Sadly, I don't know if I have the time needed to play it... I have a backlog of games, and just no time for them. Growing up bites >_<

    Oh well, I'd write more but I need to go pick up Eva! Her new schedule has her Tuesdays and Thursdays off, so she can spend the night before over here. Yay! So off I go; ciao!

    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Thursday, December 30th, 2010
    10:50 pm
    Hey, it's almost New Years!
     time for a holiday update! Christmas with the fam was good. Carolyn came down from NY so we got to spend a few days together. I drank too much a couple of days. Gifts were a good haul:

    - Complete car wash and buff kit, everything from a bucket to suds to wax.
    - A slap-chop (different name, same concept). Used it tonight, worked pretty well!
    - A toaster oven
    - A GPS, which I gave back to my parents because I will not use it. Like, ever. Except tomorrow to find Eva's cousin's house, haha.

    It was a pretty good haul! The last couple of days have been a regression of my "Play games all day" days. On the one hand it was fun - I played a lot of Oblivion, online games, and Rift's Beta (for research). At the same time I felt very unsatisfied with all of my time spent except for sleeping in. I loved that. I also got into a HUGE fight with Eva over facebook pics. She's upset that I didn't untag all the pics of mine with exes. "Why does it matter so much that you need to keep them tagged?" She asked, to which I countered, "Why do pictures from 1-5 years ago matter so much unless you're facebook stalking me?" (Which she said she has done, several times). We ended up compromising - I untagged a couple pics of me and Katie from after we broke up (although they were all platonic), and things are ok now. Really, being apart is what's upsetting her so much. It's upsetting me that she's upset. I feel like a fair-weather boyfriend - when she acts unreasonable like this, I just want to throw up my hands and say "Grow up! No one in their right mind obsesses like this. Get over it!" It's not a fun time. But things are good now and tomorrow we're meeting up at her cousin's for a New Year's party!

    So, what about resolutions? I have a few: 
    1. Sell my car. This is kinda the big one because it's worth like $3000-3500 that is currently not in my bank account. 
    2. No alcohol for a whole year. This is two-fold. One, when I drink I drink too much. almost without exception (my shift key doesn't work well on this keyboard, so pardon uncapitalized words). I make a fool of myself and bad things tend to happen. Over Christmas I slipped getting out of the shower and broke a towel rack straight out the wall. It was pretty terrible. So the first reason is because of my terrible drinking habits which have gotten worse and worse over this last year. The second reason is to get into shape. When I drink, I eat a lot more. And as I'm as big now as I was in college, I want to lose weight. Cutting out alcohol will help for sure!
    3. Join a club. Specifically I was looking into martial arts lessons. A local studio has karate lessons 3 days a week for $50 a month. That seems pretty darn good to me! Not only would it get me in shape, it would introduce a bit more discipline into my life. Something I really need!

    So that's all for now. My last free night tonight and I'm thinking of going to sleep early to prepare for tomorrow. We shall see! Ciao!

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Wednesday, December 8th, 2010
    8:55 pm
    Long enough wait?
     Whew, December already and let me just say, it is FREEZING out! I finally turned on the heat (to 65 degrees) last night, just to keep myself from freezing alive. Granted, not too much of a danger with Eva around :-)

    So, what's new? I went to MA over Thanksgiving and stayed with the Sullivans! They moved back to their old home from elementary school on Pebblepath... I didn't ask fiscal details but it seems like they lost their house. Pretty distressing, I would think... but they kept their cheer and the holiday was great! On Wednesday when I arrived I went to Dan's house for a surprise graduation party, including old faces like Josh Robinson, Matt Susko, Ryan Gattoni, and Matt Shea! We had a ton of fun catching up and chatting about everything... after we went out to Boosters, a bar in Sandwich (I would have preferred Taverna, as other old alumni were said to be there), but it was really fun overall. The rest of the weekend passed similarly, with parties and general fun with the guys. I miss my old SHS friends! Granted, Joey, Nate, Rob, Brian and Jeff are all still living in Sandwich at 23-25 years old... but their camaraderie made me a little home sick. Still, by the end of the weekend I was ready to head home!

    Other than that, life has been pretty normal. I'm trying to work out again, as well as reduce my calories... but both are tough. I made a pact with Eva, but she's already sneaking snacks, so... we'll see how it goes. I plan on getting up early tomorrow to work out, but honestly the better idea is working out after work. It's tough either way - either I'm super tired in the morning or super tired after work. Le sigh. The holidays are coming up though, so I am excited for that! I get some free time, at long last! I think I'll make a list of what to accomplish, hmmmm...

    But in real life goals, I have others things to do. I need to get gifts for my family and Eva, I need to sell my old car (did I mention I bought a new car? Well, a new used car... anyway, selling my Hyundai), I need to buy new shoes and clothing and ties... so much to do! Being older and responsible bites. 

    But not everything is being mature :-) My ZAM job is going swimmingly - my fourth article is about to come out, which is an actual REVIEW instead of most of the BS Q&As I've been doing. This one was for Pirates of the Burning Sea, which turned out to be a ton of fun. Well, a bit of fun. Not boring like Aion (which I need to resubscribe to in order to get a tour and complete a second article). And my next piece is an editorial... on World of Warcraft! Perfect chance to try out the new expansion, which looks AMAZING. I am such a nerd at heart :-P

    Speaking of being a nerd, "Tangled" from Disney is AMAZING and I highly recommend it! Eva and I went to see it last Saturday and I loved every minute of it. 

    Ok, that's all for now, time to game for a bit in order to complete my articles. Ciao!

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    PS: My Christmas list:
    1. Oblivion (gotten by Eva!)
    2. A Slap-Chop
    3. A new pizza-sandwich maker
    4. New bed linens
    5. A new pair of sneakers
    6. A new pair of shoes for work
    7. A new pair (or two!) of khaki pants for work.

    My Christmas list is mature o_O It worries me :-P



    Current Mood: good
    Thursday, November 4th, 2010
    7:31 pm
    November at last!
    Just some quick updates in life! Work is meh... I was put on probation due to falling behind on some items, which means I cannot apply to another UF position for 6 months. OUCH! On the plus side, I landed a job with the ZAM network as a news reporter. AWESOME!! It's only a pittance per month, but I get free premium access, administrative rights, and access to some free games (got Aion plus the first expansion for free to try out). Plus, even the little amount of money is a nice boost, so huzzah for me!

    Eva and I are doing great, so no real news on that front.

    Politically, the Dems got blasted in the 2010 midterms. Fortunately the two races I was really worried over, Delaware and Nevada, both went to Democrats, meaning crazy Angle and witch O'Donnell won't be joining their Tea Party brethren for a few more years at least. Almost all my picks lost for FL, but that's not surprising.

    So, let's rant about the Tea Party for a bit. I'll admit it leaves a bad taste in my mouth (pun not intended... ew, teabaggers), mostly because my cousin Aya is an enraged Tea Party supporter, much as she was an enraged Bush supporter earlier this decade. I blame her Cuban heritage for making her passionate and fiery, and her Republican upbringing for making her dumb as a rock. Cough cough. Anyway... the Tea Party doesn't thrill me. But their basic tenets appeal to my fiscally conservative side. Namely, smaller government, balanced budget. Both of these ideas I can get behind, especially the balanced budget idea. The problem is the next part - lower taxes. As anyone knows, if you lower taxes and want to balance the budget, you need to cut spending! And there's where my issues with the Tea Party manifest themselves.

    I agree a lot of government items can be cut back. For example - the military. We've stopped "major combat operations" in Iraq... of course, I don't think the Iraq war is over, as we still have 50,000 troops there, but still. Do we NEED new super cruisers, bunker busting nukes, etc? I say no! But most Tea Partiers would argue that the military is one thing we CANNOT cut! What would they propose? Well, Sharron Angle, recently deposed Nevada candidate for Senate, said we should eliminate the Department of Education and return to a private-only school system. Um... no thanks? Other ideas to cut out besides education? Oh, Department of Energy for one? We should just drill in Alaska! Oh wait... turns out that the recent estimates of Alaska's oil supplies are 90% LOWER than what people estimated in 2008. How odd!

    Lost my train of thought... oh right, Tea Party!

    So, their basic principle is good. Their methods, however, do not make sense. I cannot see it being possible to balance the budget without a combination of reducing spending AND increasing taxes. But then there's the matter of getting past the stated principle and into the movement itself. And who is in the Tea Party now?

    ... all the disgraced Bush supporters, swearing up and down that Bush was terrible, and they NEVER liked him, but the Democrats are still wrong. Oh, and besides fiscal conservatism, they are against same sex marriage, abortion for any reason, and the separation of church and state ("the founding fathers were all Christians, and we're a Christian nation!"). So in other words, the Tea Party went from a decent, if misguided, fiscally conservative base to a far-right extreme group. On the plus side, it cost Republicans the majority in the Senate. On the other hand, many of the candidates who won are Tea Party candidates now. Oy vey.

    Ok, that's my rant, I'm over it.

    For Thanksgiving, Joey invited me back to MA! I haven't seen the Sullivans in a year, so it would be great to go back! I need to wait for the final approval from Kim to get Wednesday off, but it'll be quite the awesome trip if I get to go! Apparently Dan will be back too, so yay, Sandwich reunion! I feel kinda bad for walking out on my parents, but it was going to be a small affair anyway because they're going on a cruise that weekend... so it should be fun up in MA! And I get to wear my winter clothing a month early :-P I still use the AC in my car down here...

    Ok, that's it for now, all that's good to know. Next time maybe I'll talk about my battle with booze, or review the games I'm playing (GET MINECRAFT! DO IT!). For now, off to enjoy Thursday night! Ciao!

    ~Paul


    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: thirsty
    Sunday, October 17th, 2010
    2:37 pm
    Annnnnd... it's fall!
     And it's been about a month and a half since I've posted! Well, today is Homecoming for UF. One of the secretaries at work had extra tickets to our Homecoming game, so I bought two for my dad and I (he's been wanting to see the Gators play all season, and I'm disappointed in myself that I haven't gone up to this point). While I didn't attend Gator Growl this year, I did get a "sneak peek" at one of the student acts... in fact, Eva's roommate Anna, and our friend Jess, won a contest to perform at Gator Growl! So on Friday before the event there was a barbecue at Eva's house and the girls put on a little acoustic show... and they were good! I'll admit, I was a little POed when Anna won the ambassador position Eva was vying for, but she can sing AND play guitar, so I guess she is kinda sorta awesome (they're roommates, btw). Anyway, hopefully Gator Growl was good this year, besides no Jabbawockeez. However, the game?

    Ugh!

    UF is doing downright mediocre this season. Homecoming was against Mississippi State... and we LOST. 7-10. Two missed field goal attempts. If we had made those, we would have won. The new QB, Brantley, is a far cry from Tebow. He ran slower than the linebackers, for goodness' sake! His rushing game was atrocious, and when it came to passing he threw one interception, and a ton of incompletes, often to no one in particular or worse, to someone covered by 4 guys. Ouch! The ONLY good move he made was toward the end, in the last two minutes, when he threw the ball out of bounds on purpose just before getting sacked. 

    Anyway, long story short it was a piss-poor game with a ton of Gators mistakes and penalties. Time to look for jobs in Alabama to get on board the next rising team! 

    As for life itself, it carries on normally. I applied for a position (and interviewed) with the Zam Network. For those who don't know, I've been a huge poster since High School - the Zam Network is a large grouping of online videogame news and forums. I have almost 9000 posts on their forums since 2003! However, it's been almost a week since I interviewed and I've had no news back... so it doesn't seem good. 

    Two weeks ago I went to DE with Eva to visit Carolynn for her baby shower! I can't believe how big she's getting - and she's due in late November! She's my first friend to "do it right..." Graduated, got married, bought a house, and THEN got pregnant! I'm so happy for her and Tom... they're awesome people :-) We also celebrated Eva's 20th birthday while there. Alf and Julie accompanied us on a journey to Grassroots and the Fair Trade Shop, and then to dinner at Kate's. I miss UD SOOOOO much! I loved college... le sigh.

    But life isn't bad here either! I'm liking my new digs very much, especially price-wise. My check book is the healthiest it's been since graduation, thanks to the cheap rent. So I have money to spare on things like zipping up to DE for a baby shower :-P Work is a mix... pretty standard, I should say, but I AM looking for a new job. Alas, no senior fiscal assistant positions have opened recently, so I'm a little stuck. Do I start over in another field, like a program assistant or a secretary? Hmmmm. Still no progress on graduate classes... they weren't kidding when they said taking time between graduating and working means you're a lot less likely to go back to school. Heck, I WORK at a school and I'm not taking classes! Well, besides ballroom dancing, which was a lot of fun :-)

    This weekend's been a long weekend, thanks to the aforementioned Homecoming (which meant Friday off, yay!). I enjoyed the heck out of it. While the game was a disappointment, getting to spend the evening with my Dad, soaking in the crazy college atmosphere, was awesome. I played a lot of games and spent a lot of time with Eva. Heck, I even went to a church (Pentacostal) this morning! I... didn't mind it. It reminded me a lot of The Springs in Ocala. More upbeat music, lots of young people. The pastor was pretty good, challenging the traditional Protestant notion of "Sola Fide" (by faith alone) with passages from James where he basically says "Hey, cool, you believe in the Lord. Wonderful! Know who else does? Demons. Know where they are? Hell. Put your money where your mouth is." Go James. Frankly I was going between being a believer and an outsider. On the one hand, Christianity in general is... eh... religion. On the other hand, just because it's from religion doesn't mean it's wrong. Er, not about salvation, but the general message. If you believe something, practice it. For example, Eva's dad is the most outspoken Christian I have ever met. But you know what? While I disagree with a LOT of what he says, I cannot fault him for practicing exactly what he believes. 

    As for me, my faith in Christianity is yet again at a low point. But the pastor had some really good points. I especially took home the idea that you can't work just on the actions, but you need to get to the entire outlook. For me, I was applying it to myself secularly. For example, drinking. Sure, drinking excessively is bad. But drinking itself isn't the problem, just the result. I'm unfulfilled in life. I need more going on, I need a purpose, a goal, something to strive for. Even videogames are an escaping mechanism. Why will I spend the afternoon playing games when I'm dissatisfied with my job? Avoiding the problem, I am (Yoda voice). 

    Well, I do feel somewhat accomplished today. I took out the trash, washed my clothing and sheets, cleaned my car, went foodshopping... life is good. And despite my complaints (especially about the Gators) I'm good. God may or may not exist, but either way I'm blessed, and enjoying what I have :-) Ciao!

    ~Paul

    PS: I feel like posting two things. Because Sam Tsui is the MAN. See this video, pls, KK, thnx!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdMZAeIfM94

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: good
    Monday, August 30th, 2010
    9:02 pm
    Feeling a little better
    I signed up for my eye appointment come Monday the 6th! Yahoo! New glasses will be good; and at last I get to use my eye insurance!

    Need to figure out the oil soon, though... I'm like 400 miles over when it should have been changed (from driving to Ocala and Orlando).

    That feels good :-) I also decided to hold off on videogames or a graphics card for now. I think I'll be domestic and clean the toilet before bed. 

    Oh, and I've been completely alcohol free for a month or so now. I still feel constant urges to drink. I really wanted to tonight, but I recognized that I would just abuse it. If I can't drink responsibly; I can't drink at all! 
    8:46 pm
    Bored now
    I'm in a funk tonight. Once again I failed to get into classes. This time the reason being when I went to apply for the non-degree seeking program, there was a nice message saying "Due to high demand from regular students filling up the classes, this program has been cancelled for fall and spring semesters."  So I'm SOL for another year. 

    I feel stagnant, perhaps because I am. I really want a person in my life to tell me where to go, how to live, what to do. Isn't it bad to want to give up control like that? Isn't it lazy? But it's a weird type of laziness; when I have a direction, clear steps to follow, and well-defined boundaries, I tend to succeed the most. School being the perfect example. I know being an adult is figuring these things out for yourself, but I just feel like I -can't-. I don't have any sane, logical reason for being this way. It's not being apathetic, it's being overwhelmed. The sheer quantity of choices overwhelms me. I don't know what to pick, I'm terrified of picking "wrong." This fear of being wrong, of being criticized, has been bred into me from an early age. My parents were wonderful in many respects, but they also made me fear failure and be reliant upon others to choose things for me. 2 years out of college and I still don't know what I want to do, or how to choose it. 

    Sorry sorry, I complain a lot. My life isn't bad. I have a lot of good going for me, including a stable job, a great girlfriend, several very good friends, a loving family, and a few friends here in Gainesville. My health is generally good, and I'm young. 

    But I just feel so overwhelmed. It seems like I need a purpose. I have a clingy personality that I try to fight against. I cling to the familiar, I specialize in small aspects. I'm a professional when it comes to World of Warcraft, for example, despite not playing it. I can argue religion, politics, media, current events. Given the chance I could offer many good ways to control your diet and lose weight :-P But none of these give me purpose. I think I'm troubled by the fact that I need to accept that what I am living IS life. I'm not going to get back to the undergraduate years, or the high school years. What I need to do is find a better paying job, marry, and start a family. But it seems so WRONG to make a family my purpose simply because I don't have anything else to fill that hole. Hence why I really love being with Eva, but I try not to invest TOO much, knowing how easy young relationships can end. 

    One of my major problems too is how much I look back; probably because I lack anything to look forward to, and really I don't do much right now anyway. I should take this time to try and find some activities in Gainesville; and actually, I already signed up for ballroom dance lessons (haha, should be interesting!). Again, I don't know how to do that. Sigh, and I'm back to complaining. Questions on my mind right now:

    1. Do I buy a new graphics card?
    2. Do I buy a new videogame system?
    3. When am I getting my oil changed?
    4. When am I getting new glasses?

    I guess I should just focus on what I can do for now, huh? That's all there is to it! Ciao!

    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: blah
    Tuesday, August 17th, 2010
    11:27 pm
    Got the internet back!
    Well, after being without it for quite a while, I got the internet up and running today! Whew, like 3 weeks off and now I'm back on! Let's hit the main things quick; it's late, and I'm tired.

    1. Jeanne's wedding: DECADENT. The best way I can describe it. Beautiful, to be sure, but just SO much money went into it. It was wonderful seeing all my cousins again, and my sister too! And my parents, of course. REAL LIFE YUPPIES! They exist! Scary.

    2. Drinking. I've been cold turkey quit for almost three weeks (three weeks tomorrow). That includes the wedding. It feels good, but I still have the urge. Every day I come home from work and fight the urge to make it a 4 Lokos night. It's tough but I'm holding fast thus far.

    3. Eva. Hitting our 6 month anniversary come Friday. Ah... more about that later; just got a call from her. Ciao!

    ~Paul 

    Current Mood: blah
    Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
    12:47 am
    Dexter Season 4, and other thoughts...
    WHOA.

    Just finished season 4 of dexter, and let me tell you. WOW. I saw it coming, but... whoa. Season 5 is gonna be interesting.

    In a completely unrelated note, this is the last week of me living in my house, and tomorrow in my last day at home alone. Matt and Sarah will be coming Thursday night to start to clean up the rest of their stuff. We still have a LOT to do... heck, I still have a lot in my own room. I need to finish cleaning the bathroom, clean out my closet, take apart my end table, spot treat my rug, see if my desk comes apart, and pack the rest of the kitchen stuff (got ~75% today). As for the house, we need to dust everything, clean the patio, go over the entire kitchen area, and clean the rugs upstairs. 

    So... lots to do!

    Eva is down on Friday to help me move my bed, box spring, and desk! So that's a huge help.

    In work, I'm behind. I have a lot of stuff to do, and for the next two weeks we have the auditors here. Oh, the joy. It'll be tough, but so far I'm hanging tough, and while behind, I'm managing to do all the critical stuff immediately, so I'm not too worried.

    In Real Life, I'm vowing something right now. I swear off all alcohol. Don't read too much into my reasons for this, readers... I just need a healther life, and I'm going for it. Forget drinking. Not only alcohol, but soda as well. I'm going to restart my food journal at the end of this week. I weighed myself, oh, three weeks ago, and while I was 180, I know most of it is fat now. So I'm back to working out, but the most significant change is no booze. Honestly, that'll be a HUGE change. It's sad to admit, but in the past 10 days, there was only one day I did not have at least one alcoholic drink... and that's just unacceptable. As I write this I'm one 4 Lokos and 4 shots of mango rum in... on a Tuesday. Granted, it made repainting GREAT, and I swear mango rum is HARDLY alcoholic, but it's not healthy, it's not right, and I need to stop. From today on, I will not drink alcohol again, and that's my goal. Follow up on me. Or rather, if I break that goal I'll be posting it here :-P There is no alcohol in my house right now, and it will stay that way in the new house! 

    Ok, enough teetotalism, time for bed. Ciao!

    ~Paul

    Current Mood: hopeful
    Monday, July 26th, 2010
    11:00 pm
    The final week!
    Well, this is my last week in Cottage Grove!

    The question is... do I get screwed over or not? 

    Apparently Cottage Grove has a habit of charging residents for a ton of not-necessary repairs, like repainting everything.  I went to the office today and they told me I could borrow some paint to cover the areas I spackled. Most of my stuff is moved out... I have my desk, my computer, bed and bed spring, and an end table left, as well as 5 outfits for work and some of my bathroom stuff (very little - gonna pack it up tomorrow). So I'm almost moved out. I still need to make sure I get the electricity turned on in my new place... not sure how that'll go with the lease being split three ways, but we'll see. Eva helped a TON this last weekend with me moving out; all the rest of my stuff is now in Ocala! And she's coming down next week to help me move back in, especially with my bed... the essentials, right? Need to figure out how to get cox to pick up our current modem and install a new one... sigh. So much to do in 5 days! 

    Tonight I managed to scrub some more walls (then the magic erasers fell apart), vacuum a bit, and brought home 2 boxes to pack stuff. tomorrow I need to go out and buy more magic erasers. I still have a lot more to do... especially on the patio/porch (I never know what to call it, so I switch between the two words). The wood needs to be scrubbed, as well as the concrete... but before that I need to suck up the gross stuff out there. Also tomorrow the office will be dropping off paint to go over the spackled spots... that comes first. Oy vey.

    So, a lot left to do before I move out on Sunday. Had a great weekend with Eva, who helped me clean and move out - she's awesome :-) Wish me luck this week... and happy birthday to Sam, Carolynn, and the Snow twins (yesterday)! Ciao! 

    ~Paul

    PS: Loved the Very Potter Musical this weekend when it came out. Not as good as the original, but still totally worth watching! Can't wait for the 7th movie's first part to come out in November - totally gonna be dressing up outside and singing "Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts" before it starts! Below is the link to "Coolest Girl" - best song in the new musical, IMO. Although the quality sucks even on the official song...



    Current Mood: cheerful
    Saturday, July 17th, 2010
    1:00 am
    My ears! They ring!
     So true to my word I went out to 1982 tonight with Eva to listen to my coworker James play. James also let me know it was a videogame-themed night, with a bunch of classic remixes going on. Cool! So we drove up around 9:30, and the first thing that hit me: Price! The price was $8 for over 21 and $10 for under... MUCH different from Wednesday when it was $2. Ugh. Second thing? I did not like the bands AT ALL. The first group was some DJ duo from Illinois. They had a bunch of music made from 8 bit sounds... but it sucked. Oddly, they did manage to have the best song of the night: they had a remix of "Still Alive" from the game Portal, which coincidentally Eva and I had been singing earlier in the day! And the entire bar joined in, which was awesome. The games tonight were almost all Megaman, and I completely failed at the NES versions, lol. It was pretty crowded with a mix of total nerds, D&Ders, and punk rockers... such an odd atmosphere. James's band Nannerpus didn't come on until 11:00... ouch... and it was so loud our ears still hurt!

    Still, I'm glad we went out :-) Tomorrow is cleaning day; I plan to take apart my bookcase and we'll spend a good portion of the day cleaning/packing up the kitchen. Whew, that's gonna be tough! Plan is still to go kayaking this Sunday, we'll see how it goes :-P

    Last night Austin and I went to the midnight showing of "Inception." It was one of the best movies I have seen!! Amazing graphics, really unique and neat story line, wonderful acting. Leonardo DiCaprio might be one of my favorite actors, between seeing this and Shutter Island this year. I HIGHLY recommend seeing it! The only downsides in my mind were the run time (2 1/2 hours) and the predictable ambiguous ending. 

    Wednesday night was 1982 also, but John Tony was performing. I'm pretty much a JT groupie now. It was a smaller crowd than usual, but still really good; Austin came with, and I met up with Jessica the Awesome there (I mislabeled her as Jennifer the Amazing previously in this LJ). We arrived a bit early, but Austin and I had a freaking fantastic time playing Pokemon Stadium, hahaha. So dorky!

    That's about it for now! Eva's here for the weekend (of course!), and it's great to see her :) Since I'm running on about 3 1/2 hours of sleep and she's already out like a light, I'm going to wrap this up and get some shut eye myself. Ciao!

    ~Paul

    By the way, Old Spice commercials rule: 

    Current Mood: good
    Tuesday, July 13th, 2010
    6:13 pm
    FINALLY updating!
    So it's been about a month! Not a lot has changed, but at the same time, a bit has! I spent a ton of money this month. 

    1. Paid rent, which is always a pain. But it was the second-to-last rent EVER at Cottage Grove! I am officially moving into Biven's Cove on August 4th. Which leads to the nasty problem that my lease at Cottage Grove ends on the 31st... ugh. The only real issue is moving my bed, as everything else can be broken down. I might get Eva to borrow her brother's truck to help me transport it; right now I'm storing my stuff in Ocala, since my parents are in MA until the end of August. 

    2. Bought a new monitor, which is AWESOME!

    3. Bought a new computer, because the old one literally MELTED the electrical plug-in. Like, I smelled burning plastic, heard the popping and crackling noises, and looked at the back of my computer to find a third of the plug fused to my computer. I wonder if a faulty power supply was the problem all along? If you want an idea of what my computer was like, check out the first episode of the 4th season of the guild. Actually, I'll link it at the end (as it's pretty funny: "Achievement Unlocked!")

    4. Paid for my airline ticket to Jeanne Marie's wedding. Messed up the dates and had to reschedule... and ended up paying $140 more than I should have. Officially detest Jet Blue, even though to be honest it was my own darn fault...


    Add all of those together, and I blew through like $2000 this month. I also got miscellaneous items, like a suit tailored for the wedding, and shipping my mother's shoes to her in MA (she'll reimburse me). Oh well!

    On the social scene, my weekends for the past month or so have been Eva-tastic. She comes down and picks me up from work every Friday, and stays until Monday morning. The first weekend was a little rocky... she got into a funk and wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I think it was me talking about former girlfriends (always a bad idea, even if she says otherwise...). But we've had no problems since then! Last weekend we went to Rainbow Springs in Ocala; meant to go kayaking, but a bad weather warning kept us out. So we walked around and swam a bit (brrrr, 72 degree water feels so cold! I'm SUCH a Floridian!). The weekend before we were accidentally cockblocked by Supriya, who knocked on my window while we were sharing an... ahem, intimate moment. Hilarious and embarrassing all at the same time (but hey, that's Supriya!). Still, it was nice to see her again. I haven't hung out with her since, oh, early June at least. It's sad to see a friendship die, but as our friendship was always kinda weird... it's not that bad.

    Other than that, I've only really been hanging out with Austin (who is still kind of in a funk over breaking up with Sonya a few weeks back). I don't know how to help him... I think it'll be a lot better when school starts up again in September and there are a lot of new prospects. Matt has been gone for a month now, so it's just us here, and most of the time he's alone... and while alone is fine for me (hell, I love it), I'm used to him being with other people so alone feels just... depressing.

    The other social activity is going out once a week (or two...) to see John Tony play at 1982. Jonh Tony is a friend I met through Supriya who plays the guitar, harmonica, and sings. His songs are original or covers, and I REALLY enjoy it. He also has a ton of fans! In the last month I've gone to two performances, and they've been awesome. 1982 is a cool bar too; they have old 8-bit videogames set up at the bar. YES! Going to go again tomorrow. Also, on Friday, to see my coworker James play (gonna take Eva too... hope she likes heavy metal?)

    As for me myself? Work is going fine. Had a snaffu with Kim a month ago or so, but it is really cleared up now (I hope). So work is normal. I want to start looking for new jobs ASAP. I found some potential positions, but true to form, have yet to follow up on them. gotta get on that. Physically, I quit the P90X (again), and have been MAJORLY slacking in healthy things for the past few months. I feel like my weight has shot up, but it's not true. I weighed myself twice in Ocala last weekend and I'm 180. Not great, but not NEARLY where I thought I was. However, my stomach is growing, and my muscle is deteriorating. I did 30 pushups this morning and felt like my arms were lead! But I have a new plan... disturbingly from the show "Tosh.0"... called "Piss-ups." Basically, whenever I go to the bathroom, I do 15 pushups after. It's worked well so far - I'm up to 90 pushups today, and doing 15 at a time isn't nearly as bad as doing 30 in the morning. Granted, that probably means I'm not building muscle, but... it's a nice change anyway! I'm also trying (emphasis on trying...) to restrict my food calories. Staying under750 at work is my goal, and isn't too tough. I just need to drink more water... which leads to more "Piss-ups"... what a good cycle!

    Overall I'd say I'm content. I'm really happy with my girlfriend, I'm excited to be moving at the end of the month (although I have a LOT to do before then), and life is peachy. I still talk with Alf and Jeremy daily, so I feel connected... overall, I feel pretty blessed :-) I also am working on a bucket list... things to do. One of them? Skydiving. And I just head about a place in Titusville... 



    Current Mood: amused
    Thursday, June 17th, 2010
    9:19 pm
    WHOAAAAA 4 Lokos!
     So, for the past week or so, the world (ie, Austin and Texts From Last Night) have been dropping hints that I need to try a 4 Lokos... and I did tonight. What is 4 Lokos? Basically a caffeinated alcoholic energy drink with wormwood. That actually describes it perfectly. 23.5oz of 4 things: malt alcohol, caffeine, taurine, and wormwood. It's like a kick to head. After a third, I was tipsy. After 2/3, luckily an hour had gone by, and I was still tipsy. After 3 hours I finished it, and thank goodness I waited because while Thursday may be thirsty, I have work tomorrow and WHOA. I also managed to cook up some AWESOME taco mix, which I am still enjoying. 

    End result? 9:09, and feeling fine. I think I'll be pretty sober by the time I go to bed... but I have a problem now. Unlike with normal booze (where I hit the pillow and am OUT like a light), this had caffeine. Can I fall asleep at my normal bed time of 10:30? We'll see... I am finishing up the LAST episode of Ouran High School Host Club right now... kind of excited. 

    Oh, the taco mix is for Rommi's surprise going away party tomorrow (Mexican themed). Rommi has been with PHHP for longer than I have... and she's awesome. Professionally, she's an awesome worker; tell her what you need done and she'll do it. Personally, she's a hoot. She's funny, is SO much more laid back than you would expect a double business major to be, and cracks jokes like WHOA. And confidentially? Pretty cute. But we're throwing her a party tomorrow, and I made my mom's amazing taco dip... which makes two portions! Guess who is eating the second? Awwww yeah ^___^

    Tomorrow after work my mom is actually coming to visit! We're going to tailor a new suit for me for Jeanne's wedding, and then going to dinner. Saturday I drive to Jacksonville (still need directions!), and going out to lunch with the Mosleys, who still are up in the air over whether I am a hellion or not :-P Then to Emily R's graduation, and maybe the beach... if the weather cooperates! Sunday is El Dia de los Padres, so I need to buy a present for Dad (I know exactly what to get, just need to pick it up!), so I'll be down in Ocala... and Eva is coming too! That'll be fun!

    ... oops, I meant to check with my mom to see if that's ok. Oh well, I'll verify tomorrow.

    For now, one episode of Ouran left, and Supriya may come over to be a guinea pig for my taco dip! Probably not. She's been super lame recently. Oh well, more for me :-D Ciao!

    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: Wheeee!
    Monday, June 14th, 2010
    5:56 pm
    Not much to write!
     DAMMIT! Livejournal just deleted everything I wrote. Oh well, don't feel like writing it all again, so to sum it up:

    1. Went to Katie's graduation + party on Saturday; her family still loves me. Like, disturbingly so. Except they rock, so it's fine.
    2. Katie is really happy with her life, and I'm happy for her. She's also 18 now, so the jokes can stop. 
    3. I'm happy with my life, too! Although I feel the need to figure out my next step.
    4. Eva is awesome, and hopefully any academic turmoil won't cause undue stress.
    5. Next year I'll be living with Austin and Matt. We were looking at Boardwalk, but now I want Biven's Cove because the rooms are more equal in size. My rent would be less than $400 per month, including utilities. More likely around $350 per month. SO excited!

    That's it! Off to buy some ingredients for dinner, and watch True Blood if I can find it. Also need to get a JC Penny credit card application. Ciao!
    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Monday, June 7th, 2010
    6:53 pm
    My computer
    Is wigging out again.

    Do.

    Not.

    Like.


    On the plus side, my sister's graduation (well, convocation) was great, and seeing all my friends in DE was AMAZING!!!! I had such a blast :) 
    Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
    6:51 pm
    Less than a week!
     And I'm on my way to DE! Sooooo excited; work's been a drag recently. Lots to do, lots of pressure. Got an evaluation meeting tomorrow, which seems early; I feel like I just had one... ah well, we'll see how it goes. Off to do the P90X with Austin for now; ciao!

    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
    Sunday, May 2nd, 2010
    10:37 pm
    Feeling good, 'cause it's hot hot hot!
     Well, not feeling good about the heat but otherwise I'm feeling pretty good! I should be freaking out more about some things: where to live come August, for one. Grad school for another. But overall I'm pretty good, and I've been in a good mood more or else all week! 

    Work: My boss was out two weeks ago all week, but I managed to have a couple uber productive days so I was pretty well caught up on most of my overdue stuff when she came back last week. Of course she gave me a TON more to do, so now I'm slightly behind again... but only slightly. I think I've kept up rather well! 

    Relationship: Things with Eva are going really well :-) Last weekend I brought her to Ocala to meet my parents; she passes muster :) Granted, some of that might be because she isn't 17, hahaha. My mom actually commented to me "Isn't it nice to be dating an adult?" But she also said "Eva is really nice and polite; she seems like a really good girl for you!" so it's not all about the age thing. I didn't let them interrogate her much... not that they would have. I think by this point my parents are kinda like "Eh, Paul knows enough to know what he's doing. Usually." I don't expect that same reaction next weekend, when I go to meet Eva's family in Jacksonville :-P She's already said "Prepare to my interrogated by my dad about religion." I've made up my mind to tell the truth: I consider myself a Christian, but I have yet to find a sect that agrees with my views, because most seem to focus more on hellfire, damnation, sin, and guilt than on love, acceptance, and joy. I think religion should be a celebration of the joy of life while accepting that bad things happen, and that God loves you no matter what." It's not a popular view, and I doubt conservatives like her parents will take to it, but I also don't think they can do much about it, haha. And I figure that it's better than lying and pretending I'm Jeremy.

    My feeling toward Eva are also starting to blossom a bit. I had a nightmare the other night where I dreamed Eva hooked up with another guy. I woke up really upset. Like, I was surprised how upset I was! She also went home this Friday, and I've been missing her! It sounds weird that I'm sounding shocked here, but I'm really pleasantly surprised I can feel jealous and lonely... bad feelings though they may be, they still show how much I'm thinking about her recently :)

    At the same time I'm KINDA having issues with Supriya. I texted her Friday, she texted back, I texted again... and nothing. I don't know why I felt obligated to having texts back. Or why I'm annoyed that if I don't contact her I don't hear from her... but I am. I talked to Alf about it, and he said there will probably always be some feeling there. I agree... she's kinda-dating three guys right now, and I'll admit I feel jealous. And yet I  try to look at it impartially and I think to myself "Dude, she's a hot mess. She drinks too much, she's playing multiple guys, she's made out with at least a dozen since you and dirty danced with probably twice that number. Stay AWAY (or stay near as a friend only!)." It's a big help that I'm feeling more and more toward Eva, but even that little pull toward her is a pain. On the plus side, her graduation was tonight and that a good time; all the faculty on the stage I knew from work :-D

    Health: I restarted the P90X last week, and did it 6 days straight. Didn't do the optional "Stretch X" today, but I did walk three miles on the treadmill this morning, so I think it balances out. I've also been limiting what I eat; this week I've stayed between 1500 and 2000 calories a day. I'd like to stay UNDER 1500, but it's almost impossible to do with P90X; I drink two protein shakes a day, around 250 calories each, so that's 500 calories BEFORE meals. But soup (200-300 calories) and pizza sandwiches (about 350 for two) help a ton. I snack on carrots, apples, and popcorn (100 calorie bags). I need to go food shopping again... ugh, guess that's tomorrow night after my workout! I also have not had an alcoholic drink of ANYTHING in the past two weeks... and that feels SO good. Alcohol I've found tires you out, makes you gain weight, and takes away SO much time. Nights fly by while drunk; sober I feel like I have a good amount of time each evening. So much better not to drink until Memorial Day! Although there's a graduation party next weekend, so we'll see...

    Are there results yet? Hard to say. I was asked today if I lost weight by Supriya... I don't think I have. I'm guessing I am still around 180 pounds, but my stomach does seem a little smaller. I'm using that as my estimate for calories I burn at rest and for the treadmill... maybe I should scale back to 175... all I know is that 4 more weeks of this and I should be looking a lot better for Delaware!

    Plans: Memorial day weekend I head back to Delaware for the first time in two years! I'll head up the week before with my parents, go to my sister's graduation, then hang out with Alf, Jeremy, and Carolynn (who is like 10 weeks pregnant!) the rest of the weekend. SO EXCITED! Ticket back was only about $100 too, so not that pricey!  I cannot wait... which is good, as it's less than a month away :-)

    Ok, bed time now; only 10:30, but best to get some sleep. I have more on my mind, but I'll pass on that for now. Mostly questions about how much jealousy is ok over a former flame... does everyone always feel some jealousy about old hookups? I seem to. It's not pleasant. Ho hum. Ciao!

    ~Paul

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

    Current Mood: good
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